The days, themselves, felt like they were trying to blend together. Even if they really weren't. Luckily, today wasn't so bad. There was just going to be a lot of studying involved, which meant heading into one of her favorite places. Luckily, it wasn't that far from campus. The baristas there were pretty nice too.
She'd have to message her brothers later too and find out how they were holding up, but for now, she was intent on ordering a cup of hot tea and some kind of snack, she normally let the barista choose, before heading to the back booth where she would normally study.
"You look tired." It's more idle chit chat than anything else, even if she makes sure to stay out of the way of any other potential customers.
Meng Yao sure was tired. It was his last day of an 8-day stretch, on top of the finals he had been cramming for in between his shifts he didn't even have too much time to sleep between them. Damn Xue Yang for quitting so abruptly, to mess with some blind guy. He was going to give his friend an earful if he survived this week.
Or slash his tires before his not a date with the said blind hottie, he hadn't decided yet. All he knew was that he had to pick up all of his shifts.
Part of the reason he worked at the cafe was the free shots of espresso and the study space is provided. He had his books and a cheap laptop he bought refurbished from one of Xue Yang's contacts stored in the back office. Old Hensheng hadn't failed him yet though she was on her last legs.
He smiled at the conversation and began to speak as he picked out one of the best tarts that they had. He may have set it aside for her earlier that day. She was very sweet to him and always tipped well and was just a pleasant person. One of his favorite regulars.
"Ah yes, my finals are kicking my butt. Did you want your usual Ms. Jiang?"
Yanli was lucky that her own best friend, Wen Qing, helped where she could. The woman had been training to be what she was going to college for, for a while. She also was pretty sure that rumors ran around the college where the Jiangs were concerned. Most of them she ignored, until they started talking about her brothers.
"Yours too, huh?" She asks with a soft smile. Her own finals were trying to kick her butt and she hated everything about them. Them, along with keeping her brothers in check, it was a pretty big job. Very tiring too.
"The usual would be lovely, thank you." Meng Yao always took very good care of her whenever she came in, it's what made her love the place that much more.
The Jiangs were one of the five great families and of course, the whole college knew of them. People also tend to talk a lot in the cafe and no one really cares about what a barista hears. Not that he really eavesdrop that often.
He knew of the boisterous younger Jiangs but liked their kind eldest sister the most. She was kind to everyone no matter who they were and he noticed that she was so often looking after others no one really looked after her.
"Yes, But as soon as we are done with this week, I have taken a few days to myself to just sleep." he had reserved these days months in advance. He made Jiang Yanli a hot chocolate, adding a dollop of whipped cream and two chocolate biscuits on top.
That and the tart was served with a warm smile.
"I can imagine that studying nursing is a lot. But I know you will do well in all your finals."
Everyone knew of the Jiangs. Yanli ignored the rumors. Besides, listening to them was only bound to upset her. She'd actually gone off on someone who had talked bad about her little brother. He might not have been her brother by blood, but he was still her brother. Not that anyone would know she went off on the person, not initially.
"Just make sure to turn your phone off when you do," Yanli tells him with a soft smile. "That way there's no interruptions. I'd even go as far as locking your doors and wearing earmuffs." Though, that last part was a bit teasing.
The hot chocolate and tart is taken and that soft smile brightens a bit," It's very time consuming, but there's a lot to learn from it. It's also something that I enjoy."
It was surely only with the goddess Guanyin's mercy that Jin Guangyao survived his ordeal in the temple, it was only with Su Minshan using his last breath to transport him away from the rampaging fierce corpse that saved him. Mishan probably sacrificed himself...He didn't even have the room to cry, they had to go.
He didn't even manage to get his mother's body, only the gods knew where she was. It all unraveled so fast. He was grateful that he had at least managed to get Xue Yang on the ship earlier and allow him time and space to heal. He made his way to the boat in a rush, His sleeve tied over his missing hand, and urged them to go. His enemies were surely in close pursuit of him.
When they were well off into the sea he let out a sigh of relief, now seated on a chair in the room Xue yang was located in, resting. The man looked a bit better than he had when Minshan first brought him. The plan was for the three of them to start a new life together in Dongying.
He sighed softly a servant had redone the bandages on both of his hands earlier, he couldn't move the one he had much, the poison healing slower than it would have if he had a proper core. All he could do was close his eyes and try and rest.
"This is all fucked. All that planning down the drain. I don't even know who our enemy was." he spoke to himself.
He knew what it had meant when Jin Guangyao arrived alone and the boat had pushed out to sea, but Xue Yang didn't even have it in him to feel any emotion about it. They had seen this coming: one by one the pieces that Jin Guangyao had so carefully scattered were brought back together again, revealing the truth he'd put so much effort to obscuring. Xue Yang still wasn't physically well enough to move himself on short notice, so waiting on the ship had been the only way to possibly survive if things continued to decline. Perhaps the fact that even two of them had lived to flee was a miracle.
Xue Yang felt like utter shit.
Xiao Xingchen was out of his reach now, completely and totally. His body was burned, his soul had probably been loosed from the spirit-trapping pouch, and now Xue Yang was heading to a completely different continent. Any hope that he had of bringing him back was shattered.
For not the first time he went to look at his missing pinky only to remember that his entire arm was gone. The feeling of a small piece of candy tucked away in his robes was absent. In an instant, everything was different. Everything that used to motivate him was gone. Everything, except...
"Doesn't fucking matter."
Everything except the man sitting across from him.
The three of them were always working with the odds stacked against them. The fact that they had managed to claw their way to where they were was a miracle in itself, dragging themselves out of the muck and into the light. Now they had to start all over again, a possible target on their backs and missing an arm each and minus one person.
He rolled his head over to the other man, exhaustedly. His singular bandaged hand draped across his face.
"Ah, you're awake Chengmei. I suppose it doesn't anymore. We'll deal if we are hunted out there at a later time if it happens.
How are you feeling?" it was a rhetorical question of course both of them were lucky they came out of it at all. All he had left of the world he was from was his friend. They will have to start from scratch again. He was happy that he had some preparations made upon their arrival. They will have to change their appearance, names, and everything. Shed it like a snake's skin and cast it into the sea.
There was nothing to look back at.
"I can call for someone to change your bandages, I would give you a hand...However you would see I am a bit lacking at the moment." he tried for a bit of levity, holding the bandaged nub up.
Xue Yang hadn't asked yet what had happened to Jin Guangyao to get him to the state he was in. There had been too much confusion at first, and Xue Yang didn't particularly care to find out the details. But he eyed that bandaged hand, and the spot where his other hand was missing entirely.
He didn't laugh at the joke.
"I don't need them changed."
But that was clearly a lie. Even after this long the wound was still healing its last, with blood and various fluids soaked into the bandages in one spot.
The servants had learned early on not to try to dress Xue Yang's wound while he was asleep. The first and only time he'd woken up in the middle of it, he'd killed the one doing it without any mercy. Everyone had assumed that was the natural consequence of Xue Yang unexpectedly discovering someone too close to him, and made sure he was awake for the process from then on. It meant he didn't need to make his own excuse for the truth: he'd killed them because they heard him call out "Daozhang" in his dazed and exhausted state.
It had taken weeks of letting strangers change his bandages for him to finally stop feeling like he wanted to kill each and every one of them anyway.
She woke gradually not ready to let go of such a sweet dream. Whatever it was eluded her before she was able to commit it to memory but the soft feeling lingered. Blinking into the dim light she registered a warm body next to her. The details of where she was and what had transpired the night before began to return to her. She sat up suddenly, glancing with concern around the room for her clothes, for any sign that there might be someone else nearby. It would be best for her to go now. She shifted herself in an attempt not to disturb her partner.
"Mmm? Are you awake Shi-mei? " he shifted from under the covers to wipe at his eyes blearily. He was still rather exhausted and it seemed as if his sect leader was off already. He should have woken him up, it was embarrassing to sleeping in this late.
He reached out and gently brushed her hair through his fingers.
"Thank you for all of that last night. It was really amazing."
Jin Guangyao breathed a sigh of relief when he noticed that the blood rain that had pounded so very relentlessly on his windows had finally ceased. Perhaps the Lake Spirit has finally calmed down a bit. He had to admit that the last few weeks have been anxiety-inducing and he had spent keeping track of his small family here in Hakagemachi.
You are doing fine little kit. Look after your family, the newcomer is almost awake. You should check on him. He may want something warm.
Koemi was right of course. He was probably hungry as well, he had been fighting his youkai so fully, he could barely keep him still long enough to feed him broth between episodes. He had taken to sleeping on the other side of the room so he could keep an eye on him.
He killed me you know...
Compassion is a virtue, my child.
Right again.
He sighed softly and scooped up a bowl of hot congee, and topped it with some pork and eggs. Making his way to his small bedroom to look upon the figure inside.
Growing up with different mothers, but the same father, Jin Zixuan loves his brother regardless and has always done his best to defend him. Eventually the inevitable happens and Zixuan's parents die. As Guangshan's only legitimate son, Zixuan takes over as sect leader of the Jins.
But his brother finally has the rightful name of Ziyao, and is his most trusted advisor. Zixuan finds himself relaxing without the overbearing restraints his parents had always placed on him, even without taking his brother into account. After one particular meeting, he indicates to his brother that they have some other matter to discuss - but privately, and stands to leave. He knows his brother will follow.
When he does, Zixuan has taken a seat in his favorite garden, and there is tea waiting along with a light supper for them. Waiting for Ziyao to sit, he raises a curious brow.
"A-Yao, has anyone caught your eye to marry?" Anyone who did manage to catch his brother's attention is a very lucky person, and he'll do everything in his power to support his choice.
The banquet was perfect. Of course, all of his planning had to go perfectly. and this is all even more important it was Lanling Jin's jewel Jin Zixuan'a birthday. It had to be perfect. And Jin Guangyao's father put him on the task.
And it was a lovely party with the best dancers the most sumptuous meals and the most lovely fireworks. Still, his father and stepmother had found faults with it and found reasons to slap him when the guests had retired.
He was bone tired.
Between the planning and the errands his father made him run he hadn't slept in days. At least tomorrow his parents were making a trip to Laoling so he can have a little bit of breathing room. He trudged through the long hallways to his own quarters that were both far away from the family, rooms as well as the servant's quarters. It was another subtle reminder that no one thought he belonged there.
Well, fuck them. He was as much a Jin as anyone.
He slumped against his door, with the small plate of food some of the aunties in the kitchen left him. Auntie Mei had even snuck a few sweet osmanthus cakes for him.
He took the cake gratefully. "Happy birthday, A-Yao." he said to himself. He was twenty-one and not for the first time missed his mother...
He did not know he could be so lonely even among so many people. The Lans was busy rebuilding and couldn't make it and the Nies were taking care of some skirmishes on the border. They had sent their presents early with apologies, but he wished that they were here...
Though he looked up when he heard the sound of footsteps. No one should be awake at this time of night.
Few people realize just how much Jin Zixuan sees. Most believe she's little more than the perfect daughter, a strong cultivator (someone to be paraded around and upheld as an example). And she mostly is - but she also sees and dislikes how her brother is treated by their father and her mother. The brother that should be her twin, and is as far as sharing today as the day they'd been born.
It doesn't matter to her that they hadn't been raised together, or that he's barely been officially, formally acknowledged as their father's son. They both know their father barely trusts him, no matter how hard Jin Guangyao works. Even now he's barely more than a servant, and their sect knows it.
But more than that. She's found herself startled by certain emotions whenever she thinks about her brother. Emotions that make her heart flutter and her cheeks flush. She's never had the courage to act on them - until today. After seeing how perfect her party had been, thanks to him. It just should have been their party, with him able to properly enjoy it rather than as a servant.
So she chooses to act. Waits until even all but the night-servants and guards are in bed. Then makes her way silently to her brother's rooms. Of course he hears her though, and it makes her smile before calling softly. "Zixuan." She doesn't come empty-handed either, there's a small gift wrapped in her hands.
It's just not the main gift she has in mind for him. She hopes he won't...dislike it.
"Jiejie." he stood up to greet her dropping in a formal bow. "Did you need something? It is quite late." he fretted nervously. It was uncommon for them to interact as his parents kept him far far away from the main family. So he was never quite sure what to do with this sister of his.
though she was beautiful, the Jin traits accentuated her sharp features in an elegance many envied. He quashed the rather unfilial longings that seemed to blossom in his chest.
"I have some osmanthus cakes, did you want one?" he offered. It was getting cold in the halls, so he opened the door to his small room. It was a storage room initially, with a small daybed and a desk and nothing else. There were several paintings sent by Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang that adorned the sparse walls. In all honestly, his room with the Nies and even the Wens were larger than this.
"It's cold outside, I'll get the brazier running. Please have a seat if you want."
The deep bow flusters her into stepping close to lift him back up. It's just hard to let go once he's back upright, but she's used to that. Even if her touch lingers perhaps too long to be perfectly correct.
"It's your birthday too," she murmurs. "I wanted to give you your present in person."
The offer of a cake has her smile a little, gaze dropping shyly but she hums softly in acceptance. Getting out from the hall is also a good thing, so even if she finds a far smaller room than she'd expected, it's better this way. Smaller, cramped, but there is art on the walls that hint at comfort.
"Thank you," she takes a seat at the desk, not yet sure how her sitting on his bed would be taken.
Jin Guangyao was having a terrible day to what was a terrible month. One of the worst since his mother died. Though if he was being really honest his life was a string of terrible events one after another. And he was just somehow moving one foot in front of the other.
Lan Xichen didn’t have to do it. Save him and Qin Su from their fate. Claim his child as his own. His child will never be a Jin but a Lan, and while he was terribly grateful to his sworn brother. He still felt the undeniable twinge of disgust at himself, and heartbreak. Qin Su’s words rung in his ears. Perhaps something a kin to a family was never meant for someone like him. He was not Jin Zixuan, and he would never know the happiness that comes with holding your child and being with your wife.
His father was happy enough to jeer at him, making him know that it was his fault that they couldn’t keep face. That if it was him, he would know how to keep his woman, he bit his tongue until it bled to stay silent. His stepmother beat the disgrace into his skin with an iron teapot for his trouble. The not so quiet whispers that even his sworn brother was happy to cuck him. He knew his reputation would never stay intact no matter how hard he tried. He spent the day workI got to the bone, trying to barter with vendors. What was he going to do with all that food that was made.
At least when he was working he didn’t have time to think. He made it to QInghe to play for his brother, (and probably hear more on how terrible he was. He expected no respite.) He was nearly there just by the gates, when his body gave out and he collapsed from his sword.
Of course, Nie Huaisang is on the training ground. These days, all he's ever allowed to do is study, practice, and sleep. And despite all of this time and effort, he still isn't improving. His saber doesn't feel any lighter and the air in Qinghe grows heavier by the day, suffocating him slowly. Each day gets harder than the next. Something's changing in Qinghe, he can feel it in his bones like an animal sensing an impending storm on the horizon but he's said nothing of it out loud to anyone, carrying on with the happy-go-lucky facade he's hidden himself behind for as long as he can remember.
He knows. Nie Mingjue doesn't know he knows but he knows.
The familiar sight of golden robes in the sky brightens his mood, his eyes lighting up in an instant. It gives away to a cry of alarm and dismay. A metallic thud is immediately heard a second later as Nie Huaisang drops his saber and scurries over.
"San-ge! San-ge! Are you all right?"
His voice is filled with concern as falls to his knees beside him, hands moving to check for a pulse, broken bones, or any kind of wound his hyper-anxious mind might dream up at the moment.
It must have been a bout of vertigo. Perhaps the stress of everything was getting to him more than he would like to admit.
His eyes fluttered open and his back that was already damaged from the beating throbbed all the more. He took a breath in and and let a slow ragged breath out. what if he just lay here for a bit. Why was it always a fall for him?
He gave a soft if forced smile.
“Huaisang. Have you been well? I’m afraid i dint bring any gifts for you today. I promise Ill bring double next time.” He said softly ignoring the heat running up his spine. He tried to focus his qi through it, nothing was broken but the wounds from his beating was seeping blood through his clothes. He took a breath and sat up.
“I’m fine, just I think I am a bit tired. I’ll have to play for your brother in the morning I’m afraid.” There was a red spot where he was laying down.
The more he examines him and the more injuries he finds, the more openly upset and distressed Nie Huaisang becomes. He doesn't know what happened, has no way of knowing, but it obviously wasn't anything good. He can't help himself; he finds himself stroking Jin Guangyao's hair a moment, a tender gesture to help soothe and reassure them both. His brother went out on a night hunt with some of the men earlier today at the urging of some troubled villagers in the area, leaving him to practice under the supervision of a senior disciple.
"San-ge, don't worry about that. You're hurt," he murmurs. "Da-ge's out helping some villagers right now, anyway. Just worry about yourself, okay?"
Another pet and a deep breath to steady nerves before he turns to one of the sentries.
"Hey! You there! Go tell the doctor we need help! And you, over there -" he waves a hand at another Nie disciple, one good deal more muscular than himself. "Help me get him to the infirmary. Don't worry about my brother, I'll take responsibility."
If Nie Mingjue's going to force him to become sect leader against his will, he's going to have to get used to the idea of him making his own decisions and that's that.
The war had been horrible. Expected from war. But it's left Jin Zixuan reeling. He'd gained a brother, at least. Even one their father recognized (forced, he knows that, but still recognized). They're kept apart by their parents, but still he learns a fair bit about Jin Guangyao.
What draws him to the other man, who shares his own birthday even! is something he can't explain. Perhaps a secret need to be seen. The need to not have to be perfect. To be free, for just a few moments. All of the above, perhaps. But it brings him slipping silently into Jin Guangyao's cramped, tiny rooms as often as he can.
What had started fairly innocent? Now is a little more wicked, sinful. Shameful and unfilial. But he's seen his father (and his mother) beat his brother and each blow feels like it lands on him. Today has been particularly rough and he barely has the sense to hide his passage, quickly slipping into his brother's rooms without daring to take the risk of a knock being heard. Even if it's rude.
He turns, breathing quickly as he searches for his brother. "A-Yao," he murmurs, already reaching for the small jar of medicine he'd brought. "Father and Mother were rough with you today," he hears the ache in his voice and it makes him flush, ducking his head shyly before he pushes on. "Let me help?"
Jin Guangyao never managed to believe that his days spying on the Wen were somehow better than what his blood relatives had done to him daily. Today was particularly rough. Madame Jin had thrown an entire iron pot of tea against his head because the kitchens ran out of her favorite. And his father was putting more pressure on him to deal with the Wei Wuxian issue. He used his strong cultivation to snap the younger man's collarbone and beat him.
He still had to go through the day to get the massive clockwork of the tower moving along as if nothing happened. Finally, he managed to get some time to go back to his room and was currently trying to pop his collar back into place. His head snapped up when he heard his brother.
He didn't know what to make of Jin Zixuan when he had first come here. He regarded him as a bit arrogant and awkward. But as he knew him he had realized that he was just in a difficult position as well, mitigation between his parents. He was just bad at talking. And their secret friendship had turned into something else, something that neither of them could ever speak of. But it was nice to be with someone who saw him as a person.
There was always the worry that if they were caught it would be his head on the chopping block as a corrupting influence.
"Please come in Ge." he said, voice hoarse from pain. "Thank you."
Sometimes he's able to help keep the worst of the abuse to a minimum, and his parents have to behave around guests. But today wasn't so lucky. So Jin Zixuan worries until he can reach his brother.
Yes, he knows the danger lies more on his brother's head should they get caught than his own. So he always is as careful as he can be. Takes as many precautions as possible, without giving up the chance to just be himself around someone. Just one person he can trust with himself. Is that too much to ask?
Now he approaches and quickly pours some pain relieving tea for Jin Guangyao. He also holds out a couple pills before reaching out to help get that poor collar back where it should be. He knows his brow is knit with worry, but ignores it. He adds healing energy too.
It takes a few minutes before he pulls back with a sigh. "I wish I could do more." If it were up to him, he'd heal his brother completely. But that would be suspicious and would make his parents even angrier.
It shouldn't be on Jin Zixuan to protect him, or to mitigate his parents. It shouldn't be on Jin Guangyao to be a punching bag for them either. With a free hand, he tossed up a silencing talisman for safety. There were far too many ears in this place. He sighed and relaxed visibly under his brother's gentle hands. Momentarily he wanted to mask, to say it was nothing, that it didn't hurt him as much as it did but he was enjoying being able to be himself around someone.
"I know. But it shouldn't be on you Ge." there really was only one way to make certain it had stopped for certain, and day by day he was getting pushed further to put that plan into place. At least if Jin Zixuan was sect leader he knew he would be safe if not loved.
"It would be unfilial to say." he leaned against his brother, pressing his face into his warm shoulder.
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Date: 2021-10-02 09:10 am (UTC)She'd have to message her brothers later too and find out how they were holding up, but for now, she was intent on ordering a cup of hot tea and some kind of snack, she normally let the barista choose, before heading to the back booth where she would normally study.
"You look tired." It's more idle chit chat than anything else, even if she makes sure to stay out of the way of any other potential customers.
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Date: 2021-10-02 09:19 am (UTC)Or slash his tires before his not a date with the said blind hottie, he hadn't decided yet. All he knew was that he had to pick up all of his shifts.
Part of the reason he worked at the cafe was the free shots of espresso and the study space is provided. He had his books and a cheap laptop he bought refurbished from one of Xue Yang's contacts stored in the back office. Old Hensheng hadn't failed him yet though she was on her last legs.
He smiled at the conversation and began to speak as he picked out one of the best tarts that they had. He may have set it aside for her earlier that day. She was very sweet to him and always tipped well and was just a pleasant person. One of his favorite regulars.
"Ah yes, my finals are kicking my butt. Did you want your usual Ms. Jiang?"
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Date: 2021-10-02 09:32 am (UTC)"Yours too, huh?" She asks with a soft smile. Her own finals were trying to kick her butt and she hated everything about them. Them, along with keeping her brothers in check, it was a pretty big job. Very tiring too.
"The usual would be lovely, thank you." Meng Yao always took very good care of her whenever she came in, it's what made her love the place that much more.
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Date: 2021-10-02 09:52 am (UTC)He knew of the boisterous younger Jiangs but liked their kind eldest sister the most. She was kind to everyone no matter who they were and he noticed that she was so often looking after others no one really looked after her.
"Yes, But as soon as we are done with this week, I have taken a few days to myself to just sleep." he had reserved these days months in advance. He made Jiang Yanli a hot chocolate, adding a dollop of whipped cream and two chocolate biscuits on top.
That and the tart was served with a warm smile.
"I can imagine that studying nursing is a lot. But I know you will do well in all your finals."
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Date: 2021-10-02 10:08 am (UTC)"Just make sure to turn your phone off when you do," Yanli tells him with a soft smile. "That way there's no interruptions. I'd even go as far as locking your doors and wearing earmuffs." Though, that last part was a bit teasing.
The hot chocolate and tart is taken and that soft smile brightens a bit," It's very time consuming, but there's a lot to learn from it. It's also something that I enjoy."
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From:[Closed to Xue Yang] Gold and Black Jian: Escape to Dongying
Date: 2021-10-06 05:11 am (UTC)He didn't even manage to get his mother's body, only the gods knew where she was. It all unraveled so fast. He was grateful that he had at least managed to get Xue Yang on the ship earlier and allow him time and space to heal. He made his way to the boat in a rush, His sleeve tied over his missing hand, and urged them to go. His enemies were surely in close pursuit of him.
When they were well off into the sea he let out a sigh of relief, now seated on a chair in the room Xue yang was located in, resting. The man looked a bit better than he had when Minshan first brought him. The plan was for the three of them to start a new life together in Dongying.
He sighed softly a servant had redone the bandages on both of his hands earlier, he couldn't move the one he had much, the poison healing slower than it would have if he had a proper core. All he could do was close his eyes and try and rest.
"This is all fucked. All that planning down the drain. I don't even know who our enemy was." he spoke to himself.
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Date: 2021-10-06 05:46 am (UTC)Xue Yang felt like utter shit.
Xiao Xingchen was out of his reach now, completely and totally. His body was burned, his soul had probably been loosed from the spirit-trapping pouch, and now Xue Yang was heading to a completely different continent. Any hope that he had of bringing him back was shattered.
For not the first time he went to look at his missing pinky only to remember that his entire arm was gone. The feeling of a small piece of candy tucked away in his robes was absent. In an instant, everything was different. Everything that used to motivate him was gone. Everything, except...
"Doesn't fucking matter."
Everything except the man sitting across from him.
cw: for dismemberment in general
Date: 2021-10-06 07:08 pm (UTC)He rolled his head over to the other man, exhaustedly. His singular bandaged hand draped across his face.
"Ah, you're awake Chengmei. I suppose it doesn't anymore. We'll deal if we are hunted out there at a later time if it happens.
How are you feeling?" it was a rhetorical question of course both of them were lucky they came out of it at all. All he had left of the world he was from was his friend. They will have to start from scratch again. He was happy that he had some preparations made upon their arrival. They will have to change their appearance, names, and everything. Shed it like a snake's skin and cast it into the sea.
There was nothing to look back at.
"I can call for someone to change your bandages, I would give you a hand...However you would see I am a bit lacking at the moment." he tried for a bit of levity, holding the bandaged nub up.
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Date: 2021-10-08 12:18 am (UTC)He didn't laugh at the joke.
"I don't need them changed."
But that was clearly a lie. Even after this long the wound was still healing its last, with blood and various fluids soaked into the bandages in one spot.
The servants had learned early on not to try to dress Xue Yang's wound while he was asleep. The first and only time he'd woken up in the middle of it, he'd killed the one doing it without any mercy. Everyone had assumed that was the natural consequence of Xue Yang unexpectedly discovering someone too close to him, and made sure he was awake for the process from then on. It meant he didn't need to make his own excuse for the truth: he'd killed them because they heard him call out "Daozhang" in his dazed and exhausted state.
It had taken weeks of letting strangers change his bandages for him to finally stop feeling like he wanted to kill each and every one of them anyway.
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Date: 2021-10-09 02:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-10-11 04:07 am (UTC)He reached out and gently brushed her hair through his fingers.
"Thank you for all of that last night. It was really amazing."
[closed to Nie Huaisang] Slumscape verse
Date: 2021-10-13 06:12 am (UTC)You are doing fine little kit. Look after your family, the newcomer is almost awake. You should check on him. He may want something warm.
Koemi was right of course. He was probably hungry as well, he had been fighting his youkai so fully, he could barely keep him still long enough to feed him broth between episodes. He had taken to sleeping on the other side of the room so he could keep an eye on him.
He killed me you know...
Compassion is a virtue, my child.
Right again.
He sighed softly and scooped up a bowl of hot congee, and topped it with some pork and eggs. Making his way to his small bedroom to look upon the figure inside.
"Huaisang, Are you awake?"
Twin AU >D
Date: 2021-11-03 03:52 am (UTC)But his brother finally has the rightful name of Ziyao, and is his most trusted advisor. Zixuan finds himself relaxing without the overbearing restraints his parents had always placed on him, even without taking his brother into account. After one particular meeting, he indicates to his brother that they have some other matter to discuss - but privately, and stands to leave. He knows his brother will follow.
When he does, Zixuan has taken a seat in his favorite garden, and there is tea waiting along with a light supper for them. Waiting for Ziyao to sit, he raises a curious brow.
"A-Yao, has anyone caught your eye to marry?" Anyone who did manage to catch his brother's attention is a very lucky person, and he'll do everything in his power to support his choice.
cw:Half-sibling incest. Closed to Jin Zixuan
Date: 2022-06-11 06:03 am (UTC)And it was a lovely party with the best dancers the most sumptuous meals and the most lovely fireworks. Still, his father and stepmother had found faults with it and found reasons to slap him when the guests had retired.
He was bone tired.
Between the planning and the errands his father made him run he hadn't slept in days. At least tomorrow his parents were making a trip to Laoling so he can have a little bit of breathing room. He trudged through the long hallways to his own quarters that were both far away from the family, rooms as well as the servant's quarters. It was another subtle reminder that no one thought he belonged there.
Well, fuck them. He was as much a Jin as anyone.
He slumped against his door, with the small plate of food some of the aunties in the kitchen left him. Auntie Mei had even snuck a few sweet osmanthus cakes for him.
He took the cake gratefully. "Happy birthday, A-Yao." he said to himself. He was twenty-one and not for the first time missed his mother...
He did not know he could be so lonely even among so many people. The Lans was busy rebuilding and couldn't make it and the Nies were taking care of some skirmishes on the border. They had sent their presents early with apologies, but he wished that they were here...
Though he looked up when he heard the sound of footsteps. No one should be awake at this time of night.
"Who's there?"
no subject
Date: 2022-06-11 07:38 am (UTC)It doesn't matter to her that they hadn't been raised together, or that he's barely been officially, formally acknowledged as their father's son. They both know their father barely trusts him, no matter how hard Jin Guangyao works. Even now he's barely more than a servant, and their sect knows it.
But more than that. She's found herself startled by certain emotions whenever she thinks about her brother. Emotions that make her heart flutter and her cheeks flush. She's never had the courage to act on them - until today. After seeing how perfect her party had been, thanks to him. It just should have been their party, with him able to properly enjoy it rather than as a servant.
So she chooses to act. Waits until even all but the night-servants and guards are in bed. Then makes her way silently to her brother's rooms. Of course he hears her though, and it makes her smile before calling softly. "Zixuan." She doesn't come empty-handed either, there's a small gift wrapped in her hands.
It's just not the main gift she has in mind for him. She hopes he won't...dislike it.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-11 07:52 pm (UTC)though she was beautiful, the Jin traits accentuated her sharp features in an elegance many envied. He quashed the rather unfilial longings that seemed to blossom in his chest.
"I have some osmanthus cakes, did you want one?" he offered. It was getting cold in the halls, so he opened the door to his small room. It was a storage room initially, with a small daybed and a desk and nothing else. There were several paintings sent by Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang that adorned the sparse walls. In all honestly, his room with the Nies and even the Wens were larger than this.
"It's cold outside, I'll get the brazier running. Please have a seat if you want."
no subject
Date: 2022-06-12 07:49 am (UTC)"It's your birthday too," she murmurs. "I wanted to give you your present in person."
The offer of a cake has her smile a little, gaze dropping shyly but she hums softly in acceptance. Getting out from the hall is also a good thing, so even if she finds a far smaller room than she'd expected, it's better this way. Smaller, cramped, but there is art on the walls that hint at comfort.
"Thank you," she takes a seat at the desk, not yet sure how her sitting on his bed would be taken.
(no subject)
From:[Closed to Nie Huaisang] cw:canon compliant half-sibling incest, self harm, abuse.
Date: 2022-09-10 10:03 pm (UTC)Lan Xichen didn’t have to do it. Save him and Qin Su from their fate. Claim his child as his own. His child will never be a Jin but a Lan, and while he was terribly grateful to his sworn brother. He still felt the undeniable twinge of disgust at himself, and heartbreak. Qin Su’s words rung in his ears. Perhaps something a kin to a family was never meant for someone like him. He was not Jin Zixuan, and he would never know the happiness that comes with holding your child and being with your wife.
His father was happy enough to jeer at him, making him know that it was his fault that they couldn’t keep face. That if it was him, he would know how to keep his woman, he bit his tongue until it bled to stay silent. His stepmother beat the disgrace into his skin with an iron teapot for his trouble. The not so quiet whispers that even his sworn brother was happy to cuck him. He knew his reputation would never stay intact no matter how hard he tried. He spent the day workI got to the bone, trying to barter with vendors. What was he going to do with all that food that was made.
At least when he was working he didn’t have time to think. He made it to QInghe to play for his brother, (and probably hear more on how terrible he was. He expected no respite.) He was nearly there just by the gates, when his body gave out and he collapsed from his sword.
no subject
Date: 2022-09-10 10:33 pm (UTC)He knows. Nie Mingjue doesn't know he knows but he knows.
The familiar sight of golden robes in the sky brightens his mood, his eyes lighting up in an instant. It gives away to a cry of alarm and dismay. A metallic thud is immediately heard a second later as Nie Huaisang drops his saber and scurries over.
"San-ge! San-ge! Are you all right?"
His voice is filled with concern as falls to his knees beside him, hands moving to check for a pulse, broken bones, or any kind of wound his hyper-anxious mind might dream up at the moment.
"Are you hurt anywhere?"
no subject
Date: 2022-09-10 11:04 pm (UTC)His eyes fluttered open and his back that was already damaged from the beating throbbed all the more. He took a breath in and and let a slow ragged breath out. what if he just lay here for a bit. Why was it always a fall for him?
He gave a soft if forced smile.
“Huaisang. Have you been well? I’m afraid i dint bring any gifts for you today. I promise Ill bring double next time.” He said softly ignoring the heat running up his spine. He tried to focus his qi through it, nothing was broken but the wounds from his beating was seeping blood through his clothes. He took a breath and sat up.
“I’m fine, just I think I am a bit tired. I’ll have to play for your brother in the morning I’m afraid.” There was a red spot where he was laying down.
“Have you been working hard?”
no subject
Date: 2022-09-10 11:20 pm (UTC)"San-ge, don't worry about that. You're hurt," he murmurs. "Da-ge's out helping some villagers right now, anyway. Just worry about yourself, okay?"
Another pet and a deep breath to steady nerves before he turns to one of the sentries.
"Hey! You there! Go tell the doctor we need help! And you, over there -" he waves a hand at another Nie disciple, one good deal more muscular than himself. "Help me get him to the infirmary. Don't worry about my brother, I'll take responsibility."
If Nie Mingjue's going to force him to become sect leader against his will, he's going to have to get used to the idea of him making his own decisions and that's that.
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From:cw: Half-sibling incest
Date: 2023-10-05 07:30 am (UTC)What draws him to the other man, who shares his own birthday even! is something he can't explain. Perhaps a secret need to be seen. The need to not have to be perfect. To be free, for just a few moments. All of the above, perhaps. But it brings him slipping silently into Jin Guangyao's cramped, tiny rooms as often as he can.
What had started fairly innocent? Now is a little more wicked, sinful. Shameful and unfilial. But he's seen his father (and his mother) beat his brother and each blow feels like it lands on him. Today has been particularly rough and he barely has the sense to hide his passage, quickly slipping into his brother's rooms without daring to take the risk of a knock being heard. Even if it's rude.
He turns, breathing quickly as he searches for his brother. "A-Yao," he murmurs, already reaching for the small jar of medicine he'd brought. "Father and Mother were rough with you today," he hears the ache in his voice and it makes him flush, ducking his head shyly before he pushes on. "Let me help?"
cw abuse
Date: 2023-10-05 11:22 pm (UTC)He still had to go through the day to get the massive clockwork of the tower moving along as if nothing happened. Finally, he managed to get some time to go back to his room and was currently trying to pop his collar back into place. His head snapped up when he heard his brother.
He didn't know what to make of Jin Zixuan when he had first come here. He regarded him as a bit arrogant and awkward. But as he knew him he had realized that he was just in a difficult position as well, mitigation between his parents. He was just bad at talking. And their secret friendship had turned into something else, something that neither of them could ever speak of. But it was nice to be with someone who saw him as a person.
There was always the worry that if they were caught it would be his head on the chopping block as a corrupting influence.
"Please come in Ge." he said, voice hoarse from pain. "Thank you."
no subject
Date: 2023-10-05 11:54 pm (UTC)Yes, he knows the danger lies more on his brother's head should they get caught than his own. So he always is as careful as he can be. Takes as many precautions as possible, without giving up the chance to just be himself around someone. Just one person he can trust with himself. Is that too much to ask?
Now he approaches and quickly pours some pain relieving tea for Jin Guangyao. He also holds out a couple pills before reaching out to help get that poor collar back where it should be. He knows his brow is knit with worry, but ignores it. He adds healing energy too.
It takes a few minutes before he pulls back with a sigh. "I wish I could do more." If it were up to him, he'd heal his brother completely. But that would be suspicious and would make his parents even angrier.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-06 10:18 pm (UTC)"I know. But it shouldn't be on you Ge." there really was only one way to make certain it had stopped for certain, and day by day he was getting pushed further to put that plan into place. At least if Jin Zixuan was sect leader he knew he would be safe if not loved.
"It would be unfilial to say." he leaned against his brother, pressing his face into his warm shoulder.